


My Heart is Gold and My Hands are Cold

by badwolfchild



Series: coldatom week 2017 spring [4]
Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anxiety Attacks, Canon-Typical Violence, Enemies to Friends, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Meta!Len, Mutual Pining, Pining, Slow Burn, coldatomweek2017
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-01
Updated: 2018-03-21
Packaged: 2018-11-07 15:29:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11061870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badwolfchild/pseuds/badwolfchild
Summary: Out of all the people Ray had to be trapped with, it had to be Snart.Ray's about to learn a secret about the teams resident thief that Snart would rather keep hidden.





	1. One Glance and the Avalanche Drops

**Author's Note:**

> Day 4 Free Day. I wasn't going to do day 4 but this idea kept rattling in my head and wouldn't leave me alone.
> 
> I'm leaving this as unfinished because I really want to come back to it and expand more, but I don't have the time now.
> 
> Work's title from the song Gasoline by Halsey and chapter name from the song Avalanche by Walk the Moon

Out of all the people Ray had to be trapped with, it had to be Snart. They were looking into some associates of Savage at some country club in the 90’s when they got locked in a sauna. Luckily, Snart disregarded Rip’s order and brought his cold gun along, the bad part though is that it had broken when they were thrown into said sauna. They also lost their comms, Savage having taken them.

 

“Damn it, Boy Scout! Can’t you just fix the stupid thing?” Snart’s hovering over Ray’s shoulder as he works on the gun, with no success.

 

Ray groans in frustration. “Maybe if I had access to my lab? See this part here?” Ray points to a part and Snart nods. “I need to completely replace it. Which I can’t do if I’m stuck here!”

 

Snart starts pacing, his face a little red, but he’s not really sweating yet, unlike Ray whose sweat what feels like a gallon in the past two minutes. Snart stops abruptly. “If I do something that can get us out of here, do you promise not to tell  _ anyone? _ ”

 

Ray’s leaning against the wall, energy completely drained. “What are you gonna do?”

 

Snart gets more agitated. “Just  _ promise me _ .”

 

“Okay, okay. I promise I won’t tell anyone.”

 

Snart nods. He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. When he opens them, they are glowing white where the blue of his eyes should be. He holds out his hands and what looks to be frost starts forming on his hands. Ray shivers and when he gasps he can see his breath. Snart pulls his right hand back and pitches it forward. A ball of ice the size of a baseball flies forward and slams into the door, leaving a dent. He does this a couple more times before the lock breaks and the door swings open. His eyes fade back to their blue and Snart falls forward like a puppet with its strings cut. Ray runs and grabs him before he hits the ground.

 

“Whoa, I got you.” Ray puts Snart’s arm around him to help hold him up and Snart has most of his weight against Ray. “What was that? Because that was pretty awesome. And why-”

 

“Now is not the time for a Q and A,  _ Raymond _ .” Snart interrupts him, slightly out of breath. “I’ll tell you later. Just grab my gun and let’s get  _ out _ of here.”

 

Ray nods. “Right.” Ray leaves him propped against the wall and grabs the gun. Snart puts it back in its holster. “Can you walk okay or do you want my help?”

 

Snart pushes off the wall with a grunt. “I’m good. I’m not some helpless victorian women.”

 

Snart is standing on his own, but he still looks unsteady on his feet. “Are you sur-”

 

“I said I’m  _ fine! _ ” Ray flinches back at the outburst. Snart sighs. “Sorry. Just not used to using these powers that much.”

 

Ray nods and they start heading back to the Waverider. Once they reach the forest that the Waverider is hidden in, Snart grabs Ray’s arm, stopping him. If Ray had to guess, he saw real worry in Snart’s eyes. “Now, you  _ promise _ -”

 

“I won’t tell anyone. I’ll just say I patched up the cold gun with some short term fix.” Ray gives him a reassuring smile.

 

Ray sees some of the tension leave Snart’s body. “Thank you.” They start walking again. “Go ahead, ask. I can see you’re  _ dying  _ to.”

 

“How did you get these powers?” Ray shoots off the question.

 

Snart shrugs, his arms crossed. “Same way all the other metas in Central did, that particle accelerator.”

 

“Then why use the cold gun? Or steal it in the first place?”

 

“I didn’t know I had these powers. It wasn’t until  _ after _ getting the cold gun that I discovered them.”

 

Ray grabs his shoulder to stop him. “Wait, then why kidnap Cisco to build you a new cold gun?”

 

Snart sighs again. “ _ Because _ , I can’t control them. You saw how I got winded from just using them that little bit back there. They’re unreliable. The cold gun on the other hand, is  _ very _ reliable. If a part breaks, you just replace it. And you can always control how cold it goes. I can’t do that.”

 

“So I’ll help you.”

 

“No.” Snart starts walking away.

 

Ray runs to catch up with him. “Why not? These powers are a gift-”

 

Snart spins around in a fury. “They are  _ not _ a gift! All they’ve been is a liability!” Snart’s eyes start to glow again and the grass around his feet start getting covered in a fine layer of frost. 

 

“Uh, Snart?”

 

Snart continues on. “Since these stupid powers have let themselves be known, I’ve had to tiptoe around the people I care about! Once I was fighting with Mick and I accidently iced the floors! He slipped and nearly cracked his head open! I also almost gave my sister frostbite! I  _ hurt _ my baby sister-”

 

“Snart!” Ray steps forward. “You  _ need _ to calm down.”

 

Snart seems to snap out of it. His eyes go back to blue and he looks around, like he just realized where he was. Ray and him could see their breath, and the whole field is iced over. Icicles are hanging down from the trees. It looks like a January morning, not the July afternoon that it really is. “ _ Shit!”  _ Snart says as he makes fists with his shaking hands. His breathing starts to get quicker, like he’s hyperventilating. Ray takes hold of his forearms. Snart’s unfocused gaze snaps up to him.

 

“Just look at me, alright?” Ray uses his thumbs to rub calming circles. Snart’s breathing starts evening out. “That’s it, just breath. In… and out. In… and out again.” Snart’s, luckily still blue, eyes glaze over and his head falls forward onto Ray’s shoulder. “Whoa, I got you.” Snart’s hands reach up and he gets a death grip on Ray’s shirt. Ray puts his arms around him slowly, cautious in case Snart has another outburst. When Snart doesn’t react, Ray starts rubbing circles on his back. “Like I said, we’ll figure this out.”

 

~~~~~~~~

 

After Snart calmed down, they made it make to the ship. Ray filled the team in on what happened, minus Snart using his powers. Snart himself stayed quiet with his arms crossed. Ray excused himself to fix up the cold gun and Snart silently followed him to his lab. Ray gets a better look at the damaged gun.

 

“You know, this might take awhile. I’ll just bring it to your room after I’m done.” Snart nods and heads out. Ray watches him leave on unsteady feet. While they were out with the rest of the team, Snart was standing around like nothing was wrong, but now that they were alone he was showing all his fatigue from using his powers twice in one day.

 

Ray finishes up within the hour and goes to Snart’s room to return it. He knocks on the door and Mick answers. Mick motions for him to come in and closes the door after. Ray finds Snart asleep in his bed. “Jus’ put it on his desk.” Ray nods. “Before Sleeping Beauty passed out, he said that you know now.”

 

Ray nods again. “I promise I won’t tell anyone.”

 

Mick crosses his arms. “I  _ know _ ya won’t, because if you do, we’ll be havin’ a lot more than just words, Haircut. Snart’s like a kid brother to me an’ I’ve been lookin’ after his skinny ass since he was fourteen. I’ll do anythin’ to keep him safe.”

 

Ray nods again and gulps. “Scouts honor.”

 

Mick smiles and pats him on the back, causing Ray to wince. “Glad we understand each other.” Ray nods again and escapes from the room.

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

The next morning, Ray inhaled his breakfast and went straight to Snart’s room. He knocks on the door and grins when Snart answers. 

 

“Are you ready for some training, Rocky style?”

 

Snart rolls his eyes, but lets him in anyway. Mick is lounging at the desk with a beer and snorts. “This is gonna be good.”

 

Snart glares at him as he sits cross legged on his bed. Ray sits on the bed too, one leg tucked under him. They sit facing one another. “Alright, you said you have trouble controlling the temperature so let's start there. Try making a snowball, but no blocks of ice in it. Just soft, fluffy snow.”

 

Snart takes a deep, focusing breath and holds out his right hand, palm facing up. His eyes start glowing and slowly, a ball of snow starts to form. When it fits in the palm of his hand, his eyes stop glowing. Ray grins. “You got it!” Snart shares a small smile with him.

 

“How do ya know there’s not a ball of ice in the middle?” Mick says. Snart smirks at him and throws the snowball at his face and it crumbles apart. Mick sets his beer on the desk and jumps up, brushing all the snow off him. “God! You lil’ shit!”

 

Snart laughs. “That proof enough for you?” Ray stares at Snart, never having seen him smile and laugh this openly before. Ray gets an idea and leans forward to whisper in Snart’s ear. Mick squints at the two as Snart grins and nods. “Why not, I’ll give that a try.”

 

“Give what a try? Snart, what are you trying?” Snart extends his right hand and his eyes start glowing. Mick looks down and sees frost growing on his beer bottle. He lifts it up and holds it upside down, but nothing comes out. “You jus’ wasted a perfectly good beer, you brat.” Mick sets a bottle down. “I’m done here. Tell me when you’re done playin’ with your ice, Elsa.” Mick storms out of the room.

 

~~~~~~~~

 

Whenever they have free time, Ray spends it in Snart’s room helping him. His endurance has gotten a lot better, and doesn’t nearly faint after doing something big. The two figured his powers are tied to his emotions, so Ray makes sure he doesn’t let things stay bottled up too much. All this progress went down the drain though after Mick betrayed the team and had to leave.

 

Ray goes straight to Snart’s room the first chance he gets. He enters the room without knocking and finds the room twenty degrees colder. Every surface is covered in frost and Ray can see his breath. Snart himself is on his bed and has his legs tucked in with his arms wrapped around them. He has his face buried in his knees and is rocking back and forth.

 

“Oh, Len.” Ray climbs up onto the bed and pulls Len into a hug, his head tucked under Ray’s chin. Len melts right into him. “Did you…” Ray has to ask.

 

Len shakes his head. “I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t kill my best friend. I just left him. He  _ hates _ me,  _ so much _ .” Len muffles into Ray’s chest. Ray pulls him in tighter and rubs a hand up and down his back. “It hurts so much right now.”

 

“I know it does, but you need to let yourself feel. Bottling it up will just make your powers worse.”

 

Len’s shoulders start shaking as silent sobs wracked through him. 

 

(It takes Len an hour to calm down, and ninety minutes for the room to go back to the normal temperature)


	2. The Kids aren't Alright

All Len feels is pain. His right hand is burning, but then he’ll glance down and see the missing space where his hand should be, and he doesn’t feel anything, causing him to start panicking and look away, then it will all start again in a vicious cycle. He’s lucky his powers kicked in after he shattered the meta cuffs Mick, no  _ Chronos, _ had put on him, or he would have bled out in moments.

 

Len follows the sounds of fighting and picks up the pace. He needs to make it before they hurt Mick. He rounds a corner and sees them all surrounding Mick. Jax is about to blast Mick as Firestorm and Raymond is charging his photon cannons. “Don’t do it!” That gets their attention and they all freeze. “Don’t kill him.” He’s out of breath, a mixture of running here, the pain from where his hand used to be, and from trying to keep his powers at bay when all they want to do is lash out. “Show them.” Len can see dots dancing around his vision and he knows he isn’t going to last much longer.

 

When Mick refuses to take off his mask, Len motions for Jax to do it. He regrets the action as soon as he does it since it makes him grow dizzy. His job done, he doesn’t fight it as he slumps against the wall and lets the darkness take over his vision completely. He thinks he hears his name being called, but he couldn’t be sure.

 

~~~~~~~

 

When Len comes to, he notices right away that he’s in the med bay on the Waverider. In a panic, he shoots up, but gets stopped by hands firmly pushing on his shoulders.

 

“Whoa, Len! It’s okay, Gideon’s taking care of you. But you need to stay still, okay?”

 

Len lays back again and looks over to see Raymond standing beside his bed, hands now just hovering over his shoulders. “Mick-?”

 

“He’s locked up on the Waverider, Sara’s keeping an eye on him to make sure he doesn’t try and escape. Now, how are you feeling?”

 

Len smirks. “Like I just got my hand shattered off, oh wait.” He goes to show off his stump and notices for the first time that his hand is back. He studies it for a moment before shooting Raymond a questioning look.

 

“You have Gideon to thank for that, Mr. Snart.” Len must be more out of it than he thought since he hasn’t noticed Rip’s presence this entire time. “And another thing, why did you not feel it was important to inform me that you are a metahuman?” Len’s not sure he’s ever seen Rip this pissed before, he’s even pulled out his ‘hands-on-his-hips-I’m-very-disappointed-in-you’ dad pose. Serves him right for all the lying he did at the beginning of this little adventure.

 

Len chooses to glare at Raymond instead. “You  _ promised _ me-”

 

Rip speaks over him. “You should be thanking him, if it wasn’t for Dr. Palmer here you would be  _ dead. _ Did you know that because of your meta powers, your core body temperature is much lower than the average body temperature?” Len shakes his head, he  _ didn’t _ know that. Maybe he should have had Raymond do all those tests he wanted to when he first found out about Len’s powers. “Gideon and I both thought you were in shock. We were about to smother you in heating blankets, which I’ll remind you, would have  _ killed _ you, before Dr. Palmer came running in.”

 

Len can’t help but poke the bear. “What, are you mad because someone was keeping a secret from you and it would have blown up in your face? Guess you would have had to find a new token thief to have on board.”

 

Rip’s shoulder’s slump and gives him a look of pity. “I was worried for you because as someone once told me, ‘You don’t leave your own crew behind.’ I would have thought you of all people would understand that.” He pauses to let that sink in. “Now don’t worry, as per your wishes, no one else will be informed of this unless another incident like this arises. You have my word.”

 

Len can’t stop himself from taking one final jab. “Yeah, and how much is that worth exactly?”

 

Rip looks like he’s going to say something more, but just shakes his head. He turns to Raymond. “You’ll keep an eye on him, yes?” Raymond nods. Rip spares him one more look before leaving, letting the door slide shut behind him.

 

Len takes advantage of the silence in the room to shut his eyes and let himself rest. He’s a lot more tired then he had been letting on, since apparently he just had his whole hand regrown. The silence is short lived though when Raymond lets out a quiet, “Do you hate me?” from his seat beside his bed.

 

Len sighs, not bothering to open his eyes. “No, Raymond, I don’t hate you. Contrary to popular believe, I don’t have a death wish.” Len opens his eyes looks over at Raymond, who looks like someone just kicked his puppy. “As much as I hate agreeing with our Captain, I own you a thanks. So, thank you, Raymond, for saving my life.”

 

“Wow.”

 

Len eyes Raymond. “What?”

 

“It’s just, I’ve never heard you thank anyone before. I thought rule number one of being a criminal was to never be nice to anyone.”

 

Len smirks. “Manners can get you a long ways, a boy scout like you should know that.” Len wants to get off the topic of death and himself for the time being so he turns the conversation to Raymond. “So, I know what I was up to during Mick’s attack, what about you?”

 

“Oh, well, Sara, Kendra, and I got stuck in the fifties for two years. I became a teacher, Kendra stayed with me, and Sara went and rejoined the League of Assassins. I got to teach Bill Gates!”

 

Len shakes his head with a chuckle. “You guys get a nice vacation, while I lose a hand.  _ That _ definitely sounds fair.”

 

Raymond shrugs. “At least you got the hand back. You should have seen it! Rip put your arm under this light and first your bones started appearing, then the nerves-”

 

“Alright, Raymond. I don’t need the play-by-play.”

 

Raymond grins sheepishly. “Sorry. I missed this, us hanging out and talking.”

 

Len’s not sure how to respond to that. He doesn’t do feelings, never has. His luck must finally be turning, because before he can think of something to say there’s a knock at the door and it opens to reveal Sara, back in her normal clothes. “How you doin’, Leonard?”

 

“Turns out Gideon has a few tricks up her sleeves.” He waves his newly grown hand at her.

 

“Nice. Sorry to interrupt whatever bonding moment you two were having, but Rip wanted me to get you guys. Rory’s waking up.” Sara leaves them alone after that.

 

“Are you up for this? If you aren’t, I can cover for you.” Raymond rests his hand on his, and Len’s just now noticed that he doesn’t flinch when Raymond touches him.

 

“I’m a big boy, Raymond. I’ll be fine.” Len pats Raymond’s hand for good measure. “Now, can you give me a  _ hand _ up? I’m still a little dizzy.” He wiggles his new fingers at Raymond, earning him a chuckle.

 

“Your terrible puns are back, that’s a good sign.” Raymond says as he helps Len get up and they leave the med bay.

 

Len fakes a pout. “I thought you loved my puns, you laugh at every single one of them.”

 

“Yeah, at how horrible they are. Ow! Your new hand packs a punch, that’s also a good sign.”

 

“Raymond?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Shut up.”

 

~~~~~~~~

 

That was harder than Len thought it would be. Mick was spitting mad, reminding Len of a rabid dog. The Time Masters had really done a number on him, but he guesses he had played a part in it too. If he hadn’t abandoned Mick like he had, the Time Masters never would have gotten their hands on him. Luckily Raymond stayed at his side the whole time, a familiar and calming presence preventing him from breaking down in front of everyone. Rip was another saving grace ironically. He had muted Mick’s cell right before he got outed as a meta. It’s a good thing no one else on this ship can read lips.

 

After Mick’s cell got muted, the conversation turned to how Mick was still alive in the first place. Sure, he probably should have just corrected the others when they first thought he had killed Mick, but they bought it so easily and a part of him didn’t want to correct them. Even Raymond had thought he could kill his friend before Len told him the truth during one of his worst panic attacks to date.

 

And weren’t the others mad when they found out Raymond was the only one he told the truth to. Raymond stayed in his corner the whole time though, defending the two of them without ever explaining why Len only told him and no one else. Hell, they all seemed more pissed about Len and Raymond lying over the fact Mick had just tried to kill them all multiple times. They all seem to think Mick can be  _ saved _ and that he can change. Len knows better than anyone that a leopard never changes his spots.

 

The meeting unraveled after that, everyone going their separate ways. Len overhears Raymond and Kendra ask if they can stop at their apartment in the fifties to pick up a few things, but Len couldn’t care less and makes a bee line for his room before anyone wants to talk to him again.

 

He gets a blessed two hours of peace before there’s a knock at his door and it opens on its own. Len tosses down his book and sighs. “This is one of those times I regret teaching you to hack locks.”

 

“Please, if you haven’t taught me I would have figured it out myself.” Raymond plops down next to him. “What’re you reading?” He grabs his book to look at the cover.

 

Len snatches his book back. “Alright, spit it out. You’re being extra annoying and that only means that you want to talk about something.”

 

Raymond shrugs. “It’s nothing, I don’t wanna talk about it.”

 

He looks Raymond up and down. “You, Raymond Palmer, doesn’t want to talk about something? That’s hard to believe. How about you tell me what’s going on in that head of yours or I’ll ice your shoelaces together.”

 

“You can do that?”

 

“You wanna test me and find out?”

 

This time it’s Raymond’s turn to sigh. “I think Kendra and I just broke up.” He admits.

 

Len doesn’t know where to start with this. Raymond and Kendra are, or were, dating? Why does it sting a little to know that? It must have happened during those two years they lived in the fifties. “How do you not know if you broke up with someone?” Len finally settles on. “In my experience, you tend to know if you just broke up with someone.”

 

Raymond shrugs again with wide eyes. “I don’t know! We were talking and unpacking our things, and I went back to my old room, and she went to hers, and we agreed that it was a good idea if we take a break and have some space for a bit.”

 

“I’m no Dr. Phil, but that sounds like a break up to me.”

 

“Yeah, that’s what I was afraid of.” Raymond digs in his pocket. “I was going to give her this before everyone showed up. It had been two years, I really thought you all had died and were never coming back.”

 

Len eyes the ring. “That’s a pretty big rock for a teacher’s salary.” He comments.

 

Raymond looks embarrassed and ducks his head as he fiddles with the ring. “I, may have, made a few bucks in the stock market.”

 

Len mocks a gasp. “Raymond, you didn’t. I happen to remember our dear captain telling us we couldn’t use future knowledge to our own benefit.” Raymond chuckles, but the smile soon leaves his face. Len gets up with a sigh and grabs a bottle he had hidden in a secret compartment. “Here, you look like you could use this.”

 

“What is it? It has no label.” Raymond sniffs the contents of the bottle and wrinkles his nose immediately.

 

“Just a little something I picked up in the Roarin’ Twenties. It should be safe. Ish.” 

 

“Are you sure? There were no federal safety regulations back then, and-”

 

“Just take a drink already, Raymond.”

 

Raymond hesitates before saying what the hell and taking a sip. He ends up hacking up a lung and Len takes the bottle before he spills it all. “There, there.” Len pats his back. “The first sip is always the hardest.” Len gets an idea. “This might help.”

 

Len closes his eyes and concentrates. Frost starts to build on the outside of the bottle and he opens his eyes again. “Tada.”

 

Raymond takes another sip and nods. “Better.” He clears his throat. “It still burns, and there is a chance it might kill or hurt me in the future, but better.” 

 

The two spend a while passing the bottle back and forth in silence. Raymond’s face is flushed red now and even Len is starting to feel a little dizzy. “Why’d you h’ve this hidd’n way?” Raymond slurs.

 

“I was savin’ for Mick an’ I. We were gonna open it after we killed Savage.” This stuff must be stronger than Len thought if he just blurted that out.

 

Len feels a weight on his shoulder and looks down to see Raymond resting his head there. “Life on the W’veri’er sucks s’metimes. I’ ruined Kendra ‘n I’s rel’tionship, ‘n it ruined you ‘n Mick’s, wh’tever you guys ‘ad. I’ jus’ sucks.”

 

Len takes another sip. “That it does, Raymond. That it does.”


	3. I'm Not Ready (For the Weight of Us)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning that there is a little bit of smut at the end of the chapter. If you want to skip it I have put asterisk before and after the section.

Ray wakes up with one of the worst hangovers in his life. His head is killing him and he buries his face into his pillow.

 

A pillow that starts to move. And then chuckle.

 

Ray cracks an eye open and finds himself lying on top of a very familiar chest. He raises his head more and squints at Len’s smirking face. Last night starts to come back to him and he glares as best he can at Len. 

 

“I’m never drinking with you again.” He whispers.

 

“Why you whispering, Boy Scout?” Len says at regular volume, causing Ray to wince. “Am I being too loud for you?” Ray screws his eyes shut and hides his face from the light in the crevice between the side of Len and the bed, trying to ignore the pounding in his head. “Hey, you better not puke on me. I’m serious, Raymond.”

 

Now that the thought is in his head, that’s all Ray can think about. Feeling the bitter bile in the back of his throat, he shoots up and runs for the bathroom.

 

He barely makes it, feeling marginally better afterwards, but really doesn’t want to move in fear of a repeat performance. All he manages to do is flush and then rest his head against the cool porcelain.

 

He almost falls asleep before the voice of the person responsible for his pain wakes him up. “I haven’t had to deal with this since Lisa was a kid. I wouldn’t put my face on that by the way, this is the only bathroom on the ship, meaning  _ everyone _ has used it.”

 

Ray pulls back and lies back against the tub, eyes closed the whole time. “This is all your fault. I hate you.”

 

A chuckle grows closer until Ray hears Len sit on the edge of the tub near him. “Hungover Raymond is snarky, I like it. Also, thanks for not puking in my bed, much appreciated.” Ray just blindly swats in Len’s direction, the back of his hand hitting his leg. “Snarky, not bad on the eyes,  _ and _ violent. Just my type.” Ray has a comeback on the tip of his tongue when he leans forward and retches into the toilet. “Talk about a buzzkill.” Len mutters. Ray feels Len patting his back awkwardly. “There, there.”

 

Ray wipes his mouth with a piece of toilet paper and leans back again, cracking his eyes open. “If that’s your bedside manner, I feel bad for your sister.” Ray inhales sharply at the shock of a freezing hand being pressed against the back of his neck, then closes his eyes and relaxes into it. Len even starts massaging the base of Ray’s skull. “I take back everything I’ve said, this feels amazing. I love you and your hands.” Len’s hand goes still and Ray’s eyes fly open as he realizes what he said. “I don’t mean for it to sound like that! I mean, I do care for you. I’ll admit I cried when I thought you were dead and you are probably like my best friend on this ship, as sad as that is, and I think I’m still a little drunk from last night.” Ray’s face feels like it’s on fire at this point.

 

Even with the lights off in the bathroom, Ray can still see Len raise a brow. “Are you finished, or are you going to continue waxing poetry about me and my hands?”

 

“Well, your new hand is very soft. No calluses.” Ray jokes.

 

The light to the bathroom flips on, blinding Ray. He’s surprised that Len doesn’t let go of him, normally if someone else enters a room he goes back to being the cold, aloof, criminal he was at the beginning of this adventure.

 

“Why do I keep finding the two of you alone together? Is there something you aren’t telling me, Leonard?” Oh, it’s Sara. That explains why Len’s still relaxed, he’s had this weird flirtmance with Sara since he’s met her. Who could blame him though? Sara’s pretty badass. And Hot, with a capital H.

 

Ray’s finally able to get his eyes to adjust to the light and he sees Len smirking at Sara. “Why are you asking, jealous?” Ah, Len’s using him. Why does that hurt so much? Eh, Ray’s brain hurts too much to think about it right now, he’ll think more on it when he’s sober.

 

“In your dreams. Rip wants everyone on the bridge, he has a new plan for taking down Savage. And Ray, you should take something, my head hurts just looking at you.”

 

Ray closes his eyes again, fighting a wave of nausea and gives Sara a thumbs up. He just manages to hold back a moan when he feels Len run a cold hand through his hair. “Don’t worry, I’ll look after our resident nerd. Just tell Rip to keep his trench coat on, we’ll be there in a minute.”

 

Sara’s silent for a minute before leaving without a word. He groans when Len’s hand leaves the top of his head, but then he’s grateful when he hears the click of the light switch. He then hears a bottle rattle and the sound of running water. He flinches when Len slaps him lightly on the face. “Wakey, wakey now, Raymond.”

 

Ray opens his eyes and sees Len holding out a bottle of pills and the glass of water on the floor next to him. He gives him a questioning look as he takes the pills. “I’d’ve handed you the water, but if I held it any longer it would’ve froze solid.”

 

“You still have problems with that? Maybe at this point it’s just something you can’t control. Oh! I should try making you some gloves, Cisco should have some of that therma threading left over… No, that wouldn’t work. Same problem as with the heating blankets-”

 

“Why do you care?” Len asks, still hunched in front of Ray. He has his head cocked to the side like he’s trying to figure out Ray’s angle in all this. Knowing Len, he probably is.

 

“I already told you, you’re my best friend. As my best friend, I’d like you to be able to hold a glass of water without it freezing within a couple minutes.”

 

“That’s not-” He stops himself. “Thanks. And if you repeat this to anyone I’ll deny it completely, but I see you as a really good friend too.” He shifts as if that hurts him to say.

 

“Really?” Ray really can’t keep his mouth shut, can he? “It’s just, out of everyone, why me? You seem pretty close with Sara.”

 

Len shrugs. “We play cards and flirt, but that’s it. Plus everyone thought I killed Mick and froze me out. Not one of them would even look me in the eye.”

 

“But I thought you killed Mick too. What makes me different?”

 

“You asked. You were the only one that had the guts to ask me. That’s why I didn’t tell anyone else what happened.” Len stands up. “Now that honesty hour is over, we need to go see what our esteemed leader has planned for us next.” He holds up a finger. “But first, brush your teeth. And maybe wash up a little. Sara wasn’t exaggerating when she said you look horrible.”

 

Ray gets up slowly. “I still claim it’s your fault. You peer pressured me into drinking.”

 

That gets a laugh out of Len. One of the ones that Ray rarely gets to see that’s genuine and makes Len look away in embarrassment. “You make it sound like we’re in middle school. Now hurry up so Rip doesn’t give us detention.”

 

~~~~~~~

 

After finding out Rip wanted to kill a child and only settled on kidnapping, Ray waits for everyone to clear out so he can talk with Len privately. He must sense that Ray wants to speak with him because he doesn’t make any move to get up from his seat on the bridge.

 

Kendra is the last to leave and Len sighs, studying his nails. “You’ve been looking at me like I shot your puppy for this entire meeting. You gotta problem with me wanting to kill baby Hitler?”

 

“As a matter a fact, I have a problem with you wanting to kill anyone. But what’s really bothering me is the fact that you don’t see anything wrong with killing a kid. This isn’t like you.”

 

That gets Len’s attention. He throws a glare at Ray, and Ray is proud of himself for not flinching. “How do you know what is and isn’t like me? You’ve known me for all of a handful of weeks. And don’t claim it’s because we’re ‘best friends’. The only reason we spend time together is because you know about my powers and no one else can stand to be in the same room as you.”

 

Ray does flinch at that and swallows a lump in his throat. “You’re just lashing out because you know I’m right. You aren’t the kind of person to kill a kid. You just think that if this kid can’t change then there is no way Mick can.”

 

Len gets up and in Ray’s face at that. “This has nothing to do with Mick.”

 

“He’s like a brother to you and tried to hurt everyone, so I understand why you want nothing to do with him now, but-”

 

“I told you, drop all the Mick stuff!” Ray’s never seen Len this angry before. He’s seen annoyed and pissed off, but never pure rage like this before. His eyes start glowing and he pulls back for a punch. Luckily Ray sees it coming and brings his arms up to protect himself. He’s braced for the punch, but falls to the ground in shock when a burning sensation travels up and down his arm after Len hit him.

 

Gasping in pain, he pulls back his sleeve to find a dark purple patch where Len had made contact.

 

“Raymond…” Len whispers.

 

He reaches for him and Ray reacts on instinct. He scrambles to his feet, clutching his arm the whole time, and takes a couple steps back. Len leaves his hand poised in the air. His eyes have gone back to normal and all the heat that was there before has melted away.

 

“I didn’t mean-”

 

“I know.” Ray cuts him off. “I’m gonna go to have Gideon treat this real quick.” Len makes a move to follow him. “On my own. Please, I just need some space.”

 

“I’m sorry, Raymond.”

 

“I know.” Ray repeats. With that, Ray leaves Len on the bridge.

 

~~~~~~~

 

Ray feels bad that he spends the next meeting with his mind completely off the topic at hand. He checked out as soon as Sara told him that team kidnap was a success, more focused on the fact that Len is nowhere in sight.

 

He completely overreacted before and might have pushed Len away for good. He knows how scared he is at hurting someone by accident with his powers and now that it really happened, he just pushed Len away when he tried to apologize. It had only taken Gideon five minutes to fix his arm, he should have just let Len walk with him to the med bay.

 

When Ray finishes filling Sara in on what happened on team robot, he went straight to Len’s room, thinking the man might be avoiding everyone in there. But the door was unlocked and Len wasn’t in there. He caves and asks Sara if she’s seen him anywhere. She gives him a strange look before pointing him in the direction of the cargo hold.

 

As Ray walks in, he notices right away that it’s a few degrees cooler. Len himself is sitting on the ground with his legs stretched out, throwing a bouncy ball against the far wall. Ray had given it to him to help with his anxiety and to keep his powers from acting out uncontrollably. 

 

Ray doesn’t hesitate to step over the other’s legs and plop down next to him, dodging the bouncy ball as he does so.

 

“How’s your arm?”

 

“Fine, Gideon healed me right up.” Ray pauses. “And about that, I’m sorry.”

 

That shocks Len enough that when he throws the ball, it misses its mark and bounces away. He forgets about it completely and turns his head to Ray. “Why are  _ you _ sorry?  _ I’m _ the one that hurt you.”

 

“But it was my fault, I’m the one that kept pushing even though you told me you didn’t want to talk about Mick.”

 

Len shakes his head. “Don’t you ever apologize for that. If someone hurts you, no matter the reason, it’s on them.” Len tells him firmly. “You got it?”

 

Ray nods. “I got it. But I hope you know it’s not your fault either.”

 

Len lays his head back against the wall and takes a deep breath, wringing his hands in his lap now that his ball is gone. He chuckles as he does so. “You and I both know that’s not true. I gave you frostbite, Raymond.”

 

“Did you mean to?”

 

Len opens his eyes. “No, of course not, but-”

 

“But nothing. It was an accident. I’m fine now and that’s all that matters.” Ray makes a rash decision and forces his hand between both of Len’s. “See? No frostbite.”

 

Ray can’t seem to tear his eyes away from Len’s face. He’s staring at their linked hands in pure wonder. There’s an innocent, unguarded look on his face that Ray has never seen before. “No frostbite.” Len repeats under his breath. Ray expects him to pull away now, but he does the opposite. Instead he interlocks their fingers and lays his head on Ray’s shoulder with a sigh. “Not one word, Raymond. I’m exhausted and need this right now.”

 

Ray struggles to fight down a smile. “I wasn’t going to say anything. Take all the time you need.”

 

“Wipe that grin off your face.”

 

The smile falls from Ray’s face. “How did you do that? You aren’t even looking at me. Hell, your eyes are closed.”

 

“Knowing each other is a two way street.” That's as close to an admittance that Ray was right before as he is going to get. “Now hush, I’ve had a long week.”

 

“But it’s only tuesday.”

 

“Shut up, Raymond.”

 

“Shutting up now.”

 

Ray expects another witty comeback from Len, but all he gets is silence. Looking down, he finds Len’s breathing has evened out and that he’s now fast asleep.

 

~~~~~~~~

 

Ray’s fiddling with his phone in his left hand as Len continues to sleep against him. He may or may not have taken a few selfies with Len that he is totally going to use in his phone for Len’s contact info. It’s not like Len will ever see it, if he calls him then that means he won’t be nearby. Just as Ray finishes updating Len’s info, he hears footsteps echoing down the hall. His phone drops into his lap and he tries to get his hand free, but he's too late. Sara rounds the corner, and whatever she was going to say is forgotten.

 

“I can explain.” Ray rushes out.

 

Sara crosses her arms and nods while fighting down a grin. She eyes their linked hands, raising a brow. “I'm sure you can, and I can't wait to hear it, but we have a situation, so wake your boyfriend up and meet the rest of us on the bridge.”

 

“He’s not-” Sara already leaves without listening. “I have a good explanation! And I'm straight!”

 

Sara’s gone at this point and Len starts to stir. “Raymond, would you stop hollering in my ear?” He takes his hand back to pinch the bridge of his nose. He blinks and squints at the harsh lights, reminding Ray of a cat. “Why are you yelling anyway?”

 

“Sara happened. I'll tell you on the way, right now we need to get to the bridge.” Ray stuffs his phone in his pocket as he stands and holds out a hand to Len. He takes the help up, eyes still cloudy with sleep.

 

“Whatever it is, I’m sure it’s your fault.” Len says with a yawn.

 

Ray blocks him with his arm before Len can leave the cargo hold. “Okay, why are you so tired? You only get this tired after you use your powers-” Something clicks for Ray and he gets a look of understanding. “How much have you been using your powers lately?”

 

“Just a bit. If it makes you feel better, after this mission I’ll take a nice long nap and I’ll be right as rain. Or snow in my case.” Len tries to sneak by, but Ray continues to block his way.

 

“Len, how much?”

 

Len sighs and rolls his eyes. “The brat had more guards than I was anticipating, so a few of them may have slipped on some patches of ice. For a utopia, they really need to get more people to be sanding those roads, patches of ice can be very dangerous.”

 

_ “Len.” _ For a self proclaimed criminal and liar, Ray’s learned that Len doesn’t actually lie all that often. Avoiding the full truth however… 

 

“Fine, they also went a little haywire yesterday. You know how my powers are tied to my emotions? Well having to use my cold gun against my own hand and then shattering it made me a little more emotional than usual.”

 

“Why didn’t you tell me that? And why did you have to use your gun?”

 

“Mick had these cuffs, they did something to me. I couldn’t use my powers, but it didn’t feel like how I was before I got them. This was different. I could still feel them deep down, but it was like there was a wall between me and them.” Len runs a hand over his head and shakes his head. “I don’t know why I didn’t tell you, I’m just not used to having someone to talk about feelings and junk with.”

 

“Well, as your best friend-”

 

“Since when are you my  _ best friend?” _

 

“ _ As your best friend, _ ” Ray talks over Len, which earns him a small smile. “If something’s ever bothering you, you can always come to me, okay?”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Good. Now that that’s settled, we better get to the bridge before Sara thinks we’re making out or something.”

 

Len crosses his arms. “Why would Sara think we’re making out?”

 

“Because she thinks you’re my boyfriend.” Ray says quickly. “It’s all your fault, now let’s go.” Ray runs off, leaving a confused Len behind.

 

“Raymond? Raymond, get back here! We are not done with this conversation! Raymond!”

 

~~~~~~~~

 

The meeting was as productive as a wet paper bag, meaning they got nothing done. Sara spent half the time shooting looks between Ray and Len, smirking as she does so. It makes Ray’s face heat up in embarrassment and Len just rolls his eyes, staying focused with the problem of their missing captain and Per Degaton. At least Jax and Professor Stein stay blissfully unaware of the drama going on around them.

 

The two head off to try and find a way to track the jump ship, and Ray tries to follow them, but gets stopped by Sara blocking his path, crossing her arms as she does so. “Now would be a great time to hear that explanation, Ray.”

 

“Is now really the best time? I should be helping locate the jump ship.” Ray tries to go around her, but she just blocks his path again.

 

“If anyone can find it, it’s Jax. We have time to kill while we wait, so why don’t you tell me why you and Leonard were cuddling in the cargo hold?”

 

Ray, feeling trapped, looks back at Len to help him out. Len shifts in place and hangs his head with a sigh. “Raymond’s been helping me with a personal problem.” Len admits.

 

“Len, you don’t need to say anything.”

 

“Actually,  _ Len, _ you kinda do. I wanna know what the hell’s going on between you two.” Sara butts in.

 

Ray’s gotten better at recognizing the signs of Len panicking, so he bumps his shoulder with Len’s and gives him a small smile. That seems to calm him a little and he takes a deep breath. “I’m a metahuman. The night of the particle accelerator explosion I gained ice powers. I haven’t been able to control them until recently with Raymond’s help.”

 

All the teasing leaves Sara’s eyes and she nods seriously. “Who else knows about this?”

 

“Mick, Raymond, and Rip in that order. And now I’m trusting you not to say anything?”

 

“Yeah, of course. But I just have to ask, how does this explain why you were napping on Ray?” She asks with a grin.

 

Ray’s shocked to see a little bit of a blush grow on Len’s cheeks. Len clears his throat and suddenly seems to find his shoes very interesting. “Using my powers many times in a row without a chance to rest tends to make me… drowsy.”

 

Sara squints at the two, but seems satisfied with the answer for now. “Well, thank you for trusting me with this information. You’ll have to give me a demo sometime when you’re not running on empty.”

 

Len smirks. “It’s a date.”

 

Sara heads out, no doubt to check on Jax and Stein’s progress on finding the jump ship. As soon as she turns the corner out of sight, Len’s posture immediately changes. He goes from rigid to slouching, swaying in place until Ray steadies him. “Whoa, you okay there?”

 

“I’m more tired than I thought I was. Think you can help a guy to bed?”

 

Ray stammers. “Yeah, of course, sure. I’ll, um, help you. To bed.”

 

Len pats him on the chest. “Relax, Raymond. I mean literally help me get to my bed. Chances are I’ll fall asleep on the walk there if left to my own devices.”

 

“Oh!” Ray scoffs. “Yeah, I knew that.” He rambles on as the two make their way down the hallway to Len’s room. Ray’s always had the terrible habit of rambling when nervous, something both his brother and Len have teased him for, but Len only in a lighthearted way. For the most part, like if he’s in a good mood. Len really must be tired though because normally he would have stopped Ray from rambling by now.

 

Ray just can’t get over how everyone keeps thinking him and Len are together. Sure, they’ve gotten a lot closer recently, but that’s because Ray’s been spending so much time helping Len with his powers. They’ve spent enough time together that Ray not only thinks of Len as his best friend on this ship, but probably one of the best friends he’s had ever, period. The only other people he can think of that liked being around him were Anna and Felicity. 

 

Team Arrow and Team Flash were nice to a degree, Cisco especially if they were in a brainstorming session, but he’s not totally oblivious. He can tell they tend to zone out after a while or start checking their phones. Len, at the very least, is brutally honest to Ray when Ray gets a little too long winded.

 

Now that Ray thinks on it more, he can see how someone can make the assumption. At first glance they seem like opposites, but really they balance each other out. Where Ray talks too much and overshares, Len only talks if he has something important to add or at times goes completely nonverbal. Ray’s been getting Len to share more and Len’s been reining Ray back so he stays on topic. And where Ray is very touchy-feely, Len shys away from physical contact (Wether Len’s always been like that or because he’s scared to hurt someone, Ray’s not entirely sure). Ray’s learned to read a person’s emotions before blindly hugging or patting them on the back, and Len’s gotten better at accepting and giving casual touches. Although so far it’s only been with Ray, but Ray figures it’s because he’s grown most comfortable around him.

 

Ray catches Len before he passes his room and guides him inside, getting him to sit on the bed. Len falls back and enters a light snooze, feet dangling off the edge. With a sigh, Ray bends down and unlaces the other’s boots.

 

After getting that done, Ray stands again and regrets what he has to do next. He doesn’t want to wake Len, but there’s no way Ray can get his jacket off and get him under the covers as he sleeps. He looks so peaceful though, like how he looked back in the cargo hold. 

 

Now that Ray thinks about it, he is pretty handsome, with his blue eyes and the crooked little smirk he shares with Ray when Rip does or says something funny. This is all aesthetically speaking, of course. Ray was serious when he told Sara that he’s straight. He’s never even thought of another guy like that, and if he was gay or bi he’s pretty sure he would know by now.

 

He sits down on the edge of Len’s bed and pulls him upright, rousing Len in his sleep. “Go ‘way,” He groans, half asleep.

 

“I will, as soon as we get your jacket off.” Ray says gently. 

 

Len is no help, choosing to nuzzle into Ray’s shoulder instead. “‘Least buy me dinner first,”

 

Ray chuckles as he gets one arm free. “As soon as you wake up I’ll get you a granola bar. Deal?” Ray’s not sure when the last time Len ate was, but it had to have been quite awhile ago for him to be acting this out of it. Ray has a theory that when he uses his powers, it burn more calories than usual. Maybe now since Len had that close call with the heating blanket, he might actually let Ray run some tests.

 

“Long as they’re the ones with chocolate. Those’re the only good ones.”

 

“I know. And I’ll make sure there’s no peanut butter. I know you hate chocolate with peanut butter.” Ray silently cheers when he gets Len’s other arm free and tosses his jacket to the side.

 

“‘M I a freak?” Len mumbles as Ray eases him off his shoulder and onto his pillow.

 

“For not liking chocolate with peanut butter? It’s not common, but there are a lot of people who don’t like that combination.”

 

Ray goes to get up so he can put Len’s feet on the bed, but a hand grabbing his stops him. Len has his eyes open and he squeezes Ray’s hand. “I’m being serious, Ray.”

 

Ray hides the shock of Len calling him by his nickname. “No, of course not.” He doesn’t hesitate to say. “Why would you think that?”

 

“When Mick was full Chronos and had me cuffed to a railing in his ship, he kept calling me a freak. He wouldn’t even use my name, kept calling me freak instead. He said that even before I got my weird powers I was that freaky kid that he got stuck with because I wouldn’t leave him alone.”

 

“Hey, look at me.” Len shifts his eyes up. “You are not a freak. Mick was just saying those things to get a rise out of you. Trust me, if anyone in this room is the weird one, it’s me.”

 

“You’re wrong. You’re Raymond, everybody loves Raymond.” Len chuckles at his own joke. He lets go of Ray’s hand and brushes his hair to the side, leaving his hand lingering against his cheek. “Your kindness, it makes people gravitate toward you. Makes me to wanna never leave your side.” Ray can feel himself blushing. Len must see it because he laughs as he yawns. “You’re cute when you’re embarrassed.”

 

Ray pulls Len’s hand away and shoots up. “Okay! You are beyond the point of exhaustion. Time for sleep.” Ray lifts Len’s legs onto his bed as he says that.

 

Len closes his eyes and buries his face into his pillow. “Tha’ sounds like a good idea. You’re so smart, has anyone ever told you that?” His voice is muffled by the pillow, but Ray still hears him clearly as he pulls out an extra blanket from the storage compartment under the bed. He makes a mental note that a sleep deprived Len is even more loopy than a drunk Len. Hopefully he won’t remember any of this when he wakes up.

 

He drapes the blanket over Len and he cuddles into it, seemingly asleep in moments. Ray tiptoes to the door and turns off the lights. Before he can open the door, a voice gives him pause. “Thank you for not thinking I’m a freak.”

 

Ray gives a sad smile, glad Len can’t see him. “Of course. Sweet dreams.”

 

“You’re in my head, all my dreams are sweet.”

 

Ray doesn’t know how to respond to that. Luckily he doesn’t have to when he hears light snores soon following Len’s declaration. He sneaks out of the room as quietly as he can, leaning back against the closed door with his eyes closed. He’s never had another guy flirt with him before, and certainly not as much as Len just did. He’s used to Len’s normal teasing he does with everyone, but not flat out flirting. His face still feels like it’s on fire.

 

“You done makin’ out with your boyfriend?”

 

Ray makes a, very manly, yelp and jumps. “I little warning next time? And we weren’t making out. Also, not my boyfriend. I’m straight.”

 

“Sure, whatever helps you sleep at night. But I think you doth protest too much.” Sara crosses her arms. “Just to remind you, I thought I was straight once too.” 

 

She leaves him with a wink. Ray wants to argue with her more, but he knows it would do nothing to change her mind. Plus, he needs to go have a few choice words with Mick right now.

 

~~~~~~~~

 

When Ray enters the prison area, he finds Mick sitting calmly. He’s never seen Mick do anything calmly. He’s always a flurry of movement and chaos.

 

“Ah, so Haircut finally made his way here. Was wondering when Snart’s little boyfriend would show up and fight for his honor.” Mick says, opening his eyes. They follow him as Ray walks around to the front of the cell.

 

Ray’s so pissed, he makes his hands into fists at his sides to hide the shaking. “What the hell happened to Len being like a kid brother to you?” Ray still remembers the way Mick towered over him, threatening him in order to keep Len’s secret safe. What happened to that Mick?

 

Ray thinks he sees a glimpse of anger of Mick’s eyes before they go back to a look of indifference. “I burned my whole family alive, you really think I care about some punk I met in juvie?”

 

“I think you do care, otherwise you would have just killed him when you had the chance instead of just putting him down by calling him a freak.”

 

Mick stands up, getting more agitated. “Cause I was gonna do something much worse than just kill ‘im.” Mick walks forward, looking Ray straight in the eye. “I was gonna make him watch as I slowly killed everyone he’s ever cared about in front of him as he’s powerless to stop it, starting with that baby sister of his and finishing with you. You shoulda seen the way he squirmed when I mentioned you.”

 

Ray shrugs. “Why me? What makes me so special?” 

 

Mick snorts. “You really haven’t figured it out? For a genius, you can be pretty thick. He’s in love with you, dumbass.”

 

“Len loves me?” Ray whispers to himself. 

 

“Yup, head-over-heels, follow you to the ends of the earth, love. Why do you think he follows you around like some lost puppy? Hell, you’re prolly the only one on this ship he really cares about. I know when it came down between you and me, he chose you.”

 

Now that it’s spelled out for him, he can see it. The way Len always seeks him out at all hours of the day, all the looks, the touches. That definitely shines everything he told him while drowsy in a different light.

 

Ray leaves the room in a haze. He faintly hears Mick yell something out, but it doesn’t register. 

 

Len loves him. His best friend is in love with him.

 

Ray doesn’t even know where to start with that. What he wants is to talk it out with Len, but he just went to sleep. He can’t wake him up for something like this. Plus he would prefer Len being wide awake for this conversation.  _ If _ Ray can work up the courage to even have this conversation with Len. Right now, he doesn’t know that Ray knows. The only other person that knows is Mick, and Ray can’t see Len and Mick having any civilized conversations anytime soon.

 

Ray’s train of thought is brought to an erupt end when something hits the ship, nearly knocking him from his feet.

 

~~~~~~~

 

Ray hears a groan and he sets his tablet to the side. After the battle, Rip brought the Waverider into the temporal zone to give everyone a chance to rest. Ray, with nothing else to do, headed for Len’s room and has been there reading a book and totally not thinking about the revelation that Len loves him. He still has no idea if he should confront Len about this or not, but it looks like it’s time for him to make a decision. 

 

“Morning, sleepy head.” Ray says cheerfully. “Oh! I got this for you, you’re probably hungry.” He tosses Len a granola bar (with chocolate, just how he likes it). It kind of bothers Ray that, even while still half asleep, Len still manages to catch it perfectly. Ray struggles to catch things while ready for it and wide awake.

 

Ray was right that he was hungry since Len eats half the bar in one go. A little more alert now, Len turns his attention to Ray while still nibbling on his food. “How long have I been out?”

 

“About a day.”

 

Len nearly gives himself whiplash. “What?!”

 

Ray puts his hands up, trying to hold back his laughter. “Joking! You’ve only been asleep for,” Ray glances at his watch. “Four hours.”

 

“Shit, seriously? Has Jax found the brat yet, or did our leader stoop to child murder?”

 

“No kids were killed, even evil baby Hitler kids, we fought in a battle when the Dad and Savage came knocking on our door thinking  _ we _ had the kid, and then Rip showed up and traded Per Degaton for Sara and safe passage out of there.” Ray recaps. “And don’t worry, Rip covered for you afterwards. He told the others that a side effect of growing back limbs is extreme exhaustion. They totally bought it.”

 

Len rolls his eyes. “Wow, Rip told a lie that everyone believes, there’s a shock.”

 

Ray props his feet up on Len’s bed, ignoring the glare that gets sent his way. “How much do you remember exactly? Like do you remember telling Sara?”

 

Len nods. “I do, but after that everything is hazy.” He squints. “Why?”

 

Now is as good a time as any to tell Len that he knows. How Len said all those nice things to him, like calling him cute. Or he could mention how much Mick calling Len a freak affected him.

 

But he chickens out at the last second. “Oh, you just kept talking about how much you love granola bars with chocolate, but not peanut butter.”

 

Len nods slowly. Ray almost thinks Len is going to call him on his lie, but he doesn’t. “That explains this then.” He holds up the wrapper to the granola bar he finished.

 

“Now that you’re awake and fine, I’m gonna go take a nap myself.” Ray collects his tablet and heads for the door. “Promise you’ll eat more than just that?”

 

Len smirks. “Yes, honey.”

 

Ray fights down the blush until he leaves Len’s room. He knows the man is joking, but it’s just different knowing Len likes him like that when he doesn’t return the sediment. Don’t get him wrong, he loves Len, but just as a friend. That’s why he was too scared to tell Len the truth. What if he tells Len and then Len expects them to get together? Then Ray would have to turn him down, possibly ruining their friendship.

 

No, it’s better this way. Relationships come and go, but friendships are forever.

 

*~~~~~~~*

 

Ray’s changed and just about to go to bed when there’s a knock at his door. He yells it’s open and Len comes in, letting it shut behind him. “Hey, what’s up? Did I forget something in your room?”

 

Len wanders closer. “Nope.”

 

Ray chuckles, getting a little nervous. “Okay? Then why-” The rest of Ray’s question gets cut off by Len grabbing him on both sides of his face and pulling him into a deep kiss. Eyes wide in shock, Ray hesitates before pushing Len back gently by the shoulders. “What are you doing?”

 

“Kissing you, I thought that was pretty obvious.”

 

“No, I uh, got that part. I meant why? Wait, did you talk to Mick?”

 

“No. And let’s not talk about Mick right now. I just got tired of waiting and decided to show you what you’re missing out on.” Len gets closer again and rests his arms on Ray’s shoulders, playing with the hairs on the nape of his neck. “I’ve seen the looks you’ve sent me. You’re curious.” Len’s voice gets deeper, huskier, making Ray gulp. He gives Ray a small kiss on the lips. “As a scientist, isn’t it your duty to do tests when you have questions?”

 

Ray’s breathing hitches when Len starts to suck on his neck, and he closes his eyes and stretches his neck out to give Len more access. “You, uh, make a good point.”

 

Len drops his hands and run them under Ray’s shirt, sending a shiver down his spine and causing him to gasp. Len smirks up at him. “You like?” Ray only nods, not trusting himself to speak. Len pulls Ray’s shirt up and over his head, tossing it to the side. He then pushes Ray back onto the bed, straddling him. “Now, are you sure you want this, Raymond?”

 

Ray nods again, his arousal straining against his sweats. 

 

Len smirks down at Ray’s obvious erection. He leans down, hovering over Ray, letting his hand snake slowly down and into Ray’s pants. He arches his back at the cold touch and moans, but nothing happens. “I need a verbal answer before I go any further.” Len teases, his hand motionless.

 

“Yes,” Ray says breathlessly.

 

“What was that? I didn't quite catch that.”

 

“Yes, I want this.” Len strokes once. “Yes.” Ray says more firmly and Len gives another stroke. Ray can feel himself getting close and wants Len to stop playing games. “Yes, Len! Yes! Yes!”

 

Len cuts him off with another deep kiss, stroking faster and faster, until-

 

*~~~~~~~*

 

Ray shoots up, out of breath and with a smile on his face. The smile soon falls as he becomes more aware of his surroundings. He’s alone, he went to bed alone, so all of that with Len was a dream. A really,  _ really, _ good dream if the mess in his pants is to go by.

 

Ray flops back down and covers his face with his hands. This is bad, really bad.

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is badwolfchild


End file.
